riches stored in secret places,
so that you may know that I am the Lord,
the God of Israel, who summons you by name." Isaiah 45:3
It's hard to think that I have hidden treasures...I know that's not exactly what the Prophet was writing about, but the way it was broken down by Lysa in Chapter 7 of "Made to Crave" really spoke to me.
The truth is God prepares us for all obstacles that lie ahead of us...whether He prepared us through scripture or a past experience we went through and at the time didn't really understand why it happened to us.
I have never been the skinny girl, I've always been categorized as "big boned" or "overweight" in my family and even outside of my family. I will admit, I am my own worst critic, I look in the mirror and see my flaws, I let the number on the scale determine how I am going to feel that day or even that week...that 3 digit number has always defined who I was, and honestly, at times it still does. I've beat myself down so much that I know what I am seeing in the mirror is nothing like what is seen by others.
A question was asked in my OBS group recently: "Ok ladies, let's start reversing our thought bouts ourselves :) I already stated in a post that I love my muffin top. Now I am going to tell you all and me I love my gray hair that I am getting. :) What do you all love about yourselves? :)" At first I ignored the post, skimmed by it like it wasn't even there, then I thought long and hard about what I truly love about myself...my answer was, "my calves". Thinking that I had gotten away with an easy answer to a difficult question, this was the follow up comment, "I hope you are all saying you love the parts that you didn't like before this Bible study." Really? I thought I had gotten away with a simple answer...it was like she was talking directly to me, and she may have been? Either way, I couldn't answer...and as the other ladies continued to answer what they truly love about themselves...I couldn't, and I still can't. It's crazy that this is the hardest part of my journey, seeing myself the way that God sees me...He loved me when I was thin and He still loves me when I am covered in stretch marks and overweight...He thinks I am beautiful, and like Lysa said in Chapter 7..."I am not taking you on this journey because I need you to weigh less. I am taking you on this journey because I desire you to be healthy in every sense of the word. I know your name, Megan. Now rest in the security of My Name and all that it means to your identity." AMEN!
Dear Lord, thank you for loving me, especially when loving myself is difficult. Thank you for the Blessings you have given me and continue to give me each and every day. Thank you for your Word, its' always there and true just when I need it most. In Jesus' Name, Amen!
Ok girl, let me tell you- thank you for your honesty! I know that God appreciates your honesty as well- He'd never want us to lie to Him and tell Him we're ok with things and reallly we're not. It's when we're honest with Him that He says 'OK GREAT! Now I can work with her :)' And to be truthful I had a hard time with that question as well. I actually looked at myself and thought 'well, I don't HATE anything on my body, but I don't love anything about it either" hmmmm...I think and KNOW that this is a process- getting to know and love the person that we are. We are created in HIS image...now please don't be creeped out when I write this...I wasn't going to because it might creep you out...but I creeped your fbook when you added me as a friend and you are GORGEOUS!!! I don't mean that in a creepy way at all- you. are. beautiful Megan!
ReplyDeleteLove ya girl! :)
Tara, thank you for your encouragement. Thank you for being an amazing friend! I really am trying to love something about physical myself.
DeleteAnd I laughed out loud when I read about your "creeping" on my fb page, I am not creeped out, don't worry...I did the same! LOL Thank you for you sweet compliment, you are beautiful as well, in so many ways! Love ya right back!
Megan, you are quite right just realizing that the God who made you loves - as is. And yet, you were made for more and you're seeing that. Great. Let me challenge you one more step. Someone once asked me. "How can you love other if you don't love yourself?" Remembering that question in line with what Lysa said really got my attention. You are worth Jesus dying for, so that makes you a treasure!
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Barbara P. (OBS Small Group Leader)
Thank you Barbara, when you think of it like that...it does bring a whole new light on how I treat myself.
DeleteI.....LOVE....this post!! I'm like you Megan, I have always been described as big boned, "healthy," and well you know the rest. I can soooooo feel your post. And the enemy sure loves when he has a foothold in our lives and we stay where he wants us. So God comes in and gives us plenty of what we should believe we are to be because He made us and He makes no mistakes. And yet, there we are...not believing God, but believing the enemy. Whew...that make me think a bit harder about what God says I should do. I sure don't want to live my life for the enemy, and I sure don't want that for you either, and I know for sure God doesn't want that!! Baby steps...one day at a time. Serioulsy, start looking in the mirror, right at yourself and in your BEST Barbara Streisand voice...say....."hello, gorgeous" And keep saying it everytime you start to say something negative about yourself. You are so beautiful. You really are and love that I get to know you and watch you grow!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Trish, I am so happy that we can watch each other grow and help one another through our tough bouts of self doubt and self loathing. You all have helped me gain more confidence in these past 3 weeks than I could have ever done on my own. :)
DeleteThank you so much for your honesty! I am so glad to be on the journey with you!
ReplyDeleteHi, Megan. Your post sparked something in me. I really dislike having to identify what I love, or even like, about my body, because I can't. Unfortunately that then leads to not liking myself at times, which must crush God. We need to accept who and what we are and move from there, with God's help. Thank you for your very insightful post.
ReplyDelete